melsaisme

Melissa says you didn’t have to lie to me, if you wanted to go there I would have understood but instead you chose to lie to me and hurt me, why do you do that? You should know by now that you don’t have to lie to me, even though I had a feeling that you were going to go there you still could have told me. I hate liars like no other and knowing that you lied to me today makes me wonder how many other times you lied to me. So sorry if I seem distant tomorrow I’m trying not to cry because I thought we were friends but in my book friends don’t lie to each other and I’m not even sure who I can call my friends here because no one really seems to care all that much about me anymore. I’m trying really hard right now not to be hurt by this but the tears just want to come out and I am hurt. I haven’t been hurt like this since Deanna and we both know how that turned out. I thought I could trust you with everything but now I know I can’t trust you with anything and I wish that I could take that back and that you wouldn’t have lied to me even if it was just a little tiny lie that doesn’t seem like it would hurt me, it does, I’m a sensitive person and I take things like that to heart. It makes it seem like you don’t want to hang out with me anymore I can understand that but I need you to tell me that instead of lying right to my face. I used to think that you were one of those very few people who I could trust that if I told you something that you wouldn’t go behind my back but now I can only think of one person that I can really talk to and it’s not you. I don’t think I will ever be able to tell you important things again and not just because you told me one little white lie, we’ve been growing apart all for the past year and I’ve been ignoring it, but maybe it’s time I stopped ignoring it and just get on with my life and maybe let you out of it. You’ve turned into a different person, a person I’m not sure if I like. You’ve made new friends and you’ve pushed your old ones out and that hurts, it really does.

I feel like every year I come back here I make a whole new set of friends and I start to slowly lose touch with my old ones. I keep some of my old friends but I never feel like the bond is the same strength it was when we left for the summer. I know it happened this year and it happened last year, I don't know why it happens and I kinda hate it. I think that life in the dorms was easier, my friends either lived with me or they were just across the street or a couple floors above or below me. It doesn't help that I haven't really made any close friends in the Education department and that's where I'll be spending all my time these next two years. All my old friends are in the music department, and as much as I love them, I am really excited to be done with my minor and lessons so I only have to be in that building for orchestra and practicing occasionally. I'm ready to be done with college and have a job teaching, I just want to get out of Winona and go to the cities where there is actually stuff to do on the weekends.

That felt good to get out.

I'm home and it feels good. I did pretty decent in my classes I got all A's and one C, stupid conservation of biology. I still haven't finished unpacking completely, I'm also boxing up some stuff that I won't need until I actually have my own house. I'm getting really impatient waiting for people to get back. I had a good day yesterday, I got to see Matt, I haven't seen him in a year until yesterday. I went to my sister's rugby game, they lost but it was fun to see how much she improved! She got some tackles in and she got the ball a couple of times. Today I have to go take pictures of the boy's rugby team since she will be practicing and won't be able to take pictures for the yearbook. So that should be fun, I love taking pictures with her camera, it's so nice! I also cleaned out all my drawers and got rid of two garbage bags full of clothes. It's nice to get rid of some things because they are too big for me! Of course it also went the other way and some clothes shrunk and no longer fit me. Some summer vacation though. It's almost always grey and looking like rain, I do not like it. I want happy sunshine and 70 degree weather!

So, I'm sitting here wasting time and making circles with my compass, so I decided to make a post, because hey why not, it wastes time also. I didn't do much today, I sat here, I sat in the music lounge, I sat for 2 hours taking a test. I sat a lot today, I really need to move more, I would go for a walk if it weren't so darn cold out. I really want this cold to go away, and by cold I mean both the weather and this one that has invaded my body. It would be swell if the one inside would go away, although I haven't coughed in awhile. This is a good thing because when I cough it almost sounds like I'm going to puke, even though I'm not and it hurts a lot and I usually end up teary eyed by the time I'm done hacking.

I totally found my crayons today, it was very exciting. I looked all over for them yesterday and just couldn't find them, now that I have them I can make many pretty coloring book pictures again, goodness knows I can't draw at all. I also found my pencil sharpener, this meant that I could sharpen the pencil that is on my compass, therefore I can now make many circles and not have to worry about what I would do if the pencil that I am using broke. That would be bad news bears. I just changed my background on my computer, it's now my fat cat. I miss her. I can't wait for spring break! I'll be home February 29th until March 9th! It shall be a good time, I even took the whole week off of work so I won't have to do anything besides sit on my butt at home, and goodness knows I do enough of that here. So call me sometime and get me off my butt and we can do something exciting or not so exciting together depending on what you want to do.I think that's it, but I have no idea.

So I had a pretty awesome day today, I went into it thinking it was going to suck and be super long. I got half of that right, it was really long, but it was almost perfect. Not much could have made it anymore perfect.

It started off with world music and much joyness came out of that, we played a fake gamelan. I sounded pretty good, 6532653232336532, quite happy. Then came practicing for about an hour, then I sat around for my first break, it was only a half hour long but it was good. Then in Bio, well even though it's boring, Matt Saxman is in that class, and he can make anything better. Then parenting, which wasn't horrible today, which was good, although I think this class will be an easy A.

Then for the rushing part of my day. It started with eating dinner at 4:30, with Angie, Alyssa and Matt Patt and then it was to the car so we could get over to our first world music lab at 5:30, I drove Angie, Matt and Emma. It was a happy ride. We get there and the dancers did their happy dances and then we got to learn some dances. I really enjoyed those, plus the last one got incredibly fast and I kept almost running into people, my bad. All in all, a good time, I didn't think it would be that happy, but it was. Then we had to hurry back to main campus because it was already 6:40 and orchestra started at 7, we got back, found a spot and then ran across campus to the PAC as fast as we could in the cold weather. We got there with 7 minutes to spare, but I like warming up before the class.

Then orchestra, oh man. Dr. Brisson is a piano God! I think I may have melted in my seat while he was playing. So amazing. The other pieces are also quite happy. Good times, then Angie was really really hyper and giddy, and in turn, along with some skittles) I become incredibly happy and awake and realized that while today was incredibly rushed it was a really good day, and I think it's going to take me awhile to fall asleep tonight, just thinking about how amazing today was.

I really hope tomorrow turns out to be amazing also, because that would make me quite happy. Even more happy, not much could make me happier except maybe having someone here with me to laugh with me about nothing, because that is what I am doing, laughing about absolutely nothing. And also eating skittles, although I am almost out of skittles.

Plus, plus I get to go home for Saturday night and have happy homemade mommy food and a comfy bed for the night!!! I probably won't be hanging out with anyone unless people ask. A nice relaxing night at home will do me good.

I think that's it, but I don't really know, due to the fact that I'm so happy and awake and excited to see what tomorrow will bring!

So this past week kinda really sucked.

I couldn't wait for it to be over, and now that it is I'm hoping to be able to start fresh and new and not worry to much about stuff that happened last week.

My classes shouldn't be too bad. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I only have one class besides nooner on Wednesday and my lesson on Friday. So that means that Tuesdays and Thursdays will be my huge days. Tuesdays I have World Music which shouldn't be horribly tiresome. I then have an hour and a half break before my huge block starts up, first with BIO 104, which is just conservation of Biology, it shouldn't be too bad either. I then have parenting which I think won't be hard, but it will be time consuming. And then orchestra right after that. Thursdays are basically the same but I have orchestra later (7) and I have a "lab" for world music Thursday nights starting on the 31st, so that will eat up more time. But I'm done by noon on Fridays! That's nice.

Plus my freaking parents are in Hawaii, so not fair, I want to be in Hawaii for this next week, that would have been amazing.

That's all.

So I got back to Winona about one hour ago, and I'm all unpacked and good to go, I don't think I forgot anything really important, this would be new for me. Usually I forget something, my retainers, my id card, my alarm clock. Not this time though, ok so I did forget juice boxes and cheerios, but I think that's it. Then again I don't really know. It feels good to be back though. Although I am going to miss those Tonka people, I'm sorry if we didn't get a chance to hang out, but I'll be back March 1, and then for easter weekend and then home for good May 1 until August sometime, so make sure we hang out then! I'll try to make sure too. I hope everyone has a good second semester!

I love being home, not much stress. The only stress involves either my parents or work, not too bad. I haven't really hung out with anyone yet, and I do miss them, but I haven't seen some of them in a year so I'm not really sure what to expect. I don't know if I've changed or if they have. It's weird. But, hey, I'm ready to hang out with people, call me! Let's do something, as long as I'm not working it's all good! I'm actually getting bored sitting in my room doing nothing, or playing gutair hero for hours on end, but I am getting pretty good at it. I mean it, call me, let's do something, anything! Anyone?

I don't really have much to say for a change, I have housing figured out for next year so that's a huge stress relief taken off my chest.

I'm going to be going to go home in less than 5 days now, I'm really excited.

Real food, speaking of food, the caf food has been absolutly horrible this year and I'm not sure why, that always sucks.

I'm done with my nooner, which takes a lot of stress off my chest, yay no stress!

Although I do have a paper due on Monday, but it's going good, so that's nice. I also have a test in stats on Tuesday, but that shouldn't be all that bad.

Overall I'm doing good, I don't really have any stress that's being brought on by anything besides school stuff at the moment. That's always nice.

I think that's it.

So, I have this friend, who I won't name, but she frustrates me on how she treats guys. She'll go after them and chase them down and then she'll get them, be with them for like an hour it seems and then ignore them. I'm not really sure why either, the guys she dates are like perfect guys. It seems she is only in it for the chase. Like today, we went to a concert and you think that she would sit next to the guy who she was dating, but no, instead she surrounds herself with other guys. I don't get it. I mean, you have a guy, and yet you pay no attention to him when you are with people? I'm not sure I understand this. I mean when she was dating this one guy she was pratically attached to his hip, and then we gave her a talk because whenever they saw each other they like we're instantly on top of one another. So me and some friends told her to tone it down a little in public. and then when they were in the same room she wouldn't touch him. So I hope this isn't why she's being like this.

However the concert we went to was amazing. Dr.Brisson is like a piano God. Oh and I get to go home on Friday, my papa is coming to get me, then one whole week off from this place! yes1

So, I haven't updated this thing in a long time. I think it's high time I do. So let me update you all on my life, if anyone cares.

First, it's almost baseball season, meaning that is all I will be talking about for awhile, so get use to it.

Second, I'm in love with watching our boys basketball team, we haven't lost a game since last season and we are on our way to winning the Division 2 championship yet again! They are pretty much amazing.

What else has been going on in my life... hmm... well the weather decided that it was basically time for a blizzard, so in Winona we now have about a foot and a half of snow, this coming from the wonderful 40 degree days, where we had no snow, and now we have lots and lots of snow. and look at that, it's still snowing. Unfortunatly, because of all the snow we got, our Orchestra concert was cancelled, I'm not sure when it's going to be now, maybe Thursday? I don't really know.

I also need to clean my room, it's getting pretty gross. and I need to start my homework, but I a lazy and have yet to change out of my pjs, despite the fact that it is past 1 in the afternoon.

Friday night my floor had a sleepover at the alumni house that isn't that dar from campus and I stayed up until roughly 5am, but those that know me well, know that I can't sleep on floors all that well, so I got about 2 hours of sleep total since I had to wake up at 8:15ish in case our dress rehersal for orchestra was still going on. It wasn't, so I went to sleep around 9am, and didn't wake up until 3pm. So I basically wasted all of Saturday sleeping. Then I went to a basketball game, where of course we won. We won Friday night too. That was pretty sweet.

Hmm, what else. I need to do laundry, but I am too lazy to actually get off my futon. To sum everything up, I'm a lazy person, and this needs to stop. Although I did give up the elevator for lent, and I live on the 6th floor, so this means taking 5 flights of stairs more then once a day, so that's useful. Plus last week when the weather was amazing, I went for two walks around the lakes here, one with one of my friends Deanna, around the smaller of the two lakes (1.8 miles I believe) and the other was a walk around the bigger lake with my friend Angie (3.6 miles). So, I guess I'm not entierly lazy, but still.

What else, what else. I'm not really sure. I haven't been doing much this semester, which is not a good thing. I really need to study and stuff, but I'm not really motivatied, which is bad, since last semester I got a 4.0 and now I feel like I need to get it again. Otherwise I feel like I've let myself down, and everyone who was happy that I was doing so well in college, as compared to high school, where I was only on the honor roll senior year. Useful no? and now I'm sort of ranting, but I guess everyone needs a good rant every once in awhile right? I'm really not sure. At least I know what I want to do with my life, that is useful I guess.

I kind of feel like I haven't been hanging out with my music friends as much as I did last sememster, which kinda freaks me out a little, since we became so close last sememster and now I feel like I'm just not spending any time with them at all. I love spending time with them, and it's not like I haven't got the time to, I just haven't. I always feel sad when I see the three of them eating together and me eating with other people. I feel like I'm missing something, and then I do the same thing though if I'm eating with them and I see my other friends from my floor. and it's not like we all live in different dorms, nope. We all live in the same dorm, just most of us on different floors, Deanna on 2, me on 6, Cheryl and Angie on 9, and Victoria on 10. So it's not like we're miles away, and next year we aren't all going to be in the same dorm. I'm going to be in the Quad in Morey, I think that's the same dorm that Cheryl and Victoria are going to be in, Angie is going to be in Lucas, and Deanna is moving off campus. I know we all have other friends, but it's still weird to think that I don't really spend all that much time with them excpet in Theory every day and orchestra on Tuesday's and Thursday's. I'll go eat with them on those days, but for almost every other meal I eat with other people. Last semester I ate almost every meal with them. Which is why I'm scared for next year, I really don't want to loose these friends since they are always there for me, but I'm not really doing much to keep their friendship close to me. And I feel guilty.

I'm done now and now I feel bad about myself, man I haven't felt bad about myself in awhile.

Let's play, guess how long Melissa slept last night, guess what time I went to bed at what time I woke up at and then how long I slept for, whoever wins gets a letter! (one point for the time I went to bed, one for the time I woke up at, and then one for how long I slept for) good luck!

So, I ate way too much for dinner, it was student's favorites night, so they had girlled cheese, onion rings, mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, buffalo chicken wings, hamburgers, fries and these chocolate chip cookies that were two cookies with whipped cream in between them, they were amazing. Don't worry though, I didn't eat all that (the only things I didn't have were the chicken nuggets, hamburgers and fries) Plus I made a root beer float. and a nice tall glass of chocolate milk, oh yea, and green jello. Wow, I did eat a lot. No wonder I feel bloated! Remind me not to eat that much again, I feel like I added 10 pounds, not good. and yet, what am I doing? absolutly nothing.

melsaisme's Halloween party:

beatlehead37 dressed as something neurotic, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
chaos750 dressed as Jennifer Lopez.
ellementira gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as a penguin.
frozenfire013 dressed as a pimp.
i_like_neon_ice dressed as a bottle of Smitfemetra.
jollyfuzzbucket dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Skipper Toadpants", though it looked more like a new superhero: Snow -wave.
llamadude123 dressed as a capital.
lovelysea dressed as Chester A. Arthur.
melsaisme gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as John F. Kennedy.
snowmagnolias dressed as Dick Cheney.
storyblossoms dressed as the Viscount of La Dawsonfield.
taschenratte dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Infinity Hound.
thepureaxiom forgot to put on clothes!
thynameiscow dressed as Howard Stern.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
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That is going to be one messed up party!

So, I'm addicted to the twins/baseball. and I'm also freezing cold. Stupid cold dorm rooms, but I'm going home on friday, so that should be fun. that's all.

Alright so, I know I've updated a bunch lately but I have a story that I really need to tell.

So last night I wasn't feeling too good, so I went to bed early (10pm). Apparetly my stomach had other ideas so I had to keep getting up to go to the bathroom. Anyways, it's now 1:50 in the morning and I hear some weird noises from outside my door.

The noise was a cell phone ringing and I heard a girl anwser the phone, then I here her stick her key into the door and try to open the door, it doesn't work so she keeps trying while talking on her phone. I hear her say "I'm trying to get into my room." So I finally decide enough is enough and I get out of bed (not easy to do when you're really tired and sick, and when you're 8 feet off the ground), unlock the door and open it and tell her "NOT YOUR ROOM!" She looked really confused but I only got a glimpse and a huge wiff of whatever she had been drinking (she was obviously drunk) and then slamed the door in her face. She was gone. That was so annoying, I wanna go find her and tell her how rude it is to try and open a door that isn't yours. You might be thinking oh she just got off on the wrong floor, true but it says our names on the door, and every two floors has a different object that has our name on it, so the door would look different. Silly drunks.

Last weekend there were 73 minors given out, I wonder how many there will be this weekend.

So for anyone who cares, I'm the queen of the circle of fifths in my theory class, that's right, thanks to Sobotta and Finn drilling it into my head. Now I am the QUEEN! Woot! I just felt like posting that. haha. I'm done now.

Five years ago today, I was walking to Nicole's house to pick her up to go to the bus stop. When I got there her parents were watching TV and they said that something had crashed into some building, I didn't think anything of it. Fastforward to government class, I found out that two planes have crashed into the world trade center buildings, being only 13 years old, I had no clue as to what they were. Soon enough kids were being taken out of class and bing told that family members may or may not be alive. I couldn't believe what was going on. When I got home I turned on the TV and watched more coverage, I remember watching the towers collapse over and over again, until I had to turn off the TV because it got so overweleming, I remember crying for people that I didn't know.

My question to all of you is, where were you when you heard about it and what was your first reaction?

Remember the victims and heros of September 11.

I HATE TRAINS!!!!!!!! ARGGGGGGG!!! They always come when I want to sit down and do nothing, except enjoy the quiet. ARGGGGGGGG!!!!!